I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
You pole danced in your parka.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Randomize
