i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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