I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Randomize
