her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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