Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
My breasts were aching with rage.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
