We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
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