There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
