Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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