I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Randomize
