Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
