Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
