hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
