Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
