Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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