She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
