I want to make a zoo with you.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Randomize
