i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
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