bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
