I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
