i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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