One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
