Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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