okay pat passed out under dana's car
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Randomize
