OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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