fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I want to walk on stilts...naked
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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