It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
