i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
