I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
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