Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
