What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
