I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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