Do you still have your period?
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Randomize
