Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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