4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I'm sobbing to NWA
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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