I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
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