I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I will be naked everywhere
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Randomize
