batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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