Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
