sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
