is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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