Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
