"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
