the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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