how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
