How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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