So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
