if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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