I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
