Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
