If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
The feeling are messing with the penis
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
